YOU'RE NOT A PORN STAR

Take note, this is a weird article and a bit 18+, so don't say I don't warn ya!

 

This is not about if you should watch porn or not, that's totally up to you. Do whatever you want.

This is about your sexual activities, and what happens in the 'other room' where it all goes down. Are you ready? Ok, let's go.

 

Sex is not only pleasurable, but it is also very intimate and different people have sex for different reasons. For some, it’s to make babies, for some it's just for the fun of it, and I'm pretty sure I have heard the term ‘revenge sex'; although, I have absolutely no idea what that means. If you do, be sure to drop a comment. Anyway, let's move on.

Everybody wants to be a champion in bed. Everybody wants to be seen as a warrior who conquers all on the ‘sexual battle field', and in order to become this you need the right skill sets and a reasonable amount of experience. Now, where do you get these skills from? Most people turn to the famous teacher for sex lessons; say hello to professor porn.

Porn is everywhere on the internet, all you need is a phone and cheap data, and you can access millions of sex videos and content. People learn different styles off of the internet like snake in the monkey shadow style, enter the dragon style, set my southside on fire style, and many more in a bid to integrate them into their sexual life but it doesn't always work out.

You see most of the things you see in Porn are not 100% real, and there are lots of background actions that you don't know about, so you can't get the exact same results as in porn.

First off, let's talk about size. Some of the male sex organs you see in porn are not natural, some have been enhanced in so many ways with different methods and you most likely won't be of the same size, disappointing isn’t it? And even if you do have that size, you can't go put it in a random girl! You gotta find a girl that's willing to go down that road with you so good luck searching.

 

Also, some of these porn last well over an hour because they involved multiple rounds of sex compiled into one video, and maybe for you, "2 seconds everything don bust" and instead of seeking medical advice, you turn to drugs and some dangerous concoctions so you could potentially last longer. Well, if it screws up your kidney nko? Or you take one Mallam concoction and the lady refuses to show up nko? Ehyy wahala ooo! Na your song be this, "when trouble sleeps yanga go wake am, wetin e dey find, Pallava e dey find".

 

Women are not left out as they also imitate porn with an over-the-top fake orgasm.

In porn, women orgasm all the time, but in reality there are tons of women out there who have never had an orgasm meaning most of the orgasms in porn are fakes!

Some ladies then put lots of effort into mimicking these fake orgasms; small penetration they start screaming like the world is ending. Common my dear sister, gbogbo iyen o neccestri mehn. Instead of this, talk to your partner so you could improve your sex life together and stop deceiving yourself. If you lose your voice nko? What would you tell your boss when he asks why you sound like Ursula from The Little Mermaid or your choir master when he asks you to take a solo? Some would even begin to shake like they’re in the middle of a shock, hmnn hnmm, orisirisi.

 

Also, don't forget the moan. If you listen to women moaning in porn, you’d realize it's sometimes fake. Porn is about putting on a show than it is about being a genuine expression of pleasure. If you find yourself making a loud exaggerated groan during sex, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, "am I not a witch like this?"

Ok, this is the last one. So in porn women hardly take charge, men just do whatever they want and the women just go with the flow. Some of these actions are extremely violent and irritating. Be mindful of copying these actions, and don't let anyone disrespect or degrade you in the name of trying something new. Okay, if he wants to throw you on the bed and you use your head to knack the wall and you die nko? What would you tell God in heaven? Or maybe she jumps from the ceiling on your rod and it breaks into two or maybe you choke her and she dies, what would you tell the judge in court? That is straight up, "kiri kiri jo....." well you know the rest.

 

So, please cut yourself some slack, recognize that you can't be perfect about this all of the time. Most of the things you see in porn aren't real, and so many things were done before the actual acting that you don't know about. So, be careful, take it easy and enjoy some beautiful pressure-free sex with your partner. Remember you're not a pornstar! Ogogoro no be crude oil and real life is different from movies.

Have a good one.